Notting Hill has been mythologised so thoroughly by a 1999 rom-com and every influencer who has ever stood in front of the pastel houses that it is difficult to separate the real neighbourhood from the Instagram version. This test is an attempt to do exactly that.
If you score well enough, you will have a genuinely excellent week. If you do not, you will spend seven days surrounded by beautiful architecture and food you cannot afford, wondering why nobody warned you.
The Questions
1. It is Saturday morning at 9am. You want breakfast. What do you do?
A. Walk to Electric Diner on Portobello Road and wait for a table like a reasonable person
B. Arrive at Electric Diner at 8:45am and sit outside regardless of temperature
C. Go to the farmer's market at Carvery on St Johns Wood High Street, which is actually where the serious Notting Hill residents go on Saturday mornings, and then feel smug about it
D. Order delivery and eat it in your rented flat while watching people walk to the market
2. A developer has just asked you to recommend a restaurant to impress their investors. You send them to:
A. The Churchill Arms for the Thai food and the extraordinary floral display
B. Gold, the neighbourhood restaurant that has been there for 30 years and has no brand presence whatsoever
C. Granger & Co, because Bill Granger opened it and you know this is the correct answer but also you feel like a cliche for knowing it
D. The Electric Cinema is nearby, which is not a restaurant, but you think the developer might appreciate the suggestion of cultural depth
3. You have a friend visiting for two days. You take them to:
A. Portobello Road market on Saturday morning, because it is genuinely excellent and also you want them to understand what you mean when you talk about Notting Hill's history
B. The Notting Hill Bookshop, because you have been saving that joke for fifteen years and the friend has seen the film
C. Walk them along Westbourne Grove and ask them to notice the specific way the light works on the white stucco at around 4pm
D. One of the walks from our Notting Hill guide, because the neighbourhood is more interesting when you understand the architectural history
4. You are looking for somewhere to eat on a Tuesday at 8pm. You have no reservation. Your approach is:
A. Walk into The AA Rosette restaurant and ask if they have room at the bar
B. Find the smallest, least promoted restaurant on the street and walk in with the confidence of someone who knows exactly what they are doing
C. Order from the restaurant on your phone and eat at home, because Tuesday night in Notting Hill requires the same effort as Friday night, just with fewer options
D. Walk to Golborne Road and eat standing up outside one of the excellent Portuguese delis, because the people-watching is also excellent and the food is genuinely good
5. Someone asks you what Notting Hill is actually like to live in. You say:
A. Expensive
B. Very expensive, actually
C. Expensive, but the Waitrose is exceptional and the farmers market on a Saturday morning is genuinely one of the best in London, so if you are the kind of person who weighs quality of life against cost of living, it makes a kind of sense
D. A very expensive postcode that contains some of the best food and most interesting architecture in West London, but also one where the average house price means the people who actually gave the neighbourhood its character have mostly left. For more on how London neighbourhoods change over time, see our London neighbourhoods guide.
What Your Answers Reveal
The Notting Hill you see in films is a set. The Notting Hill you experience on a Saturday morning at Portobello Road market is real, and it is excellent, but it requires knowing where to stand and when to arrive. The neighbourhood rewards people who do their homework before they visit, which is precisely why we wrote a Notting Hill neighbourhood guide that goes beyond the pastel houses.
Score yourself: 3 correct answers means you are ready for a week in Notting Hill. 1 or 2 means you will have a pleasant time and occasionally feel slightly out of your depth. 0 means you should probably start with our London Journal blog and work up to West London.
The point is not to pass or fail. The point is that Notting Hill, like most of London's genuinely good neighbourhoods, requires you to show up with some knowledge and some willingness to walk away from the obvious version of it. The people who live there do not stand in front of the pastel houses. They already know what is behind the pastel houses.
